Sound Investing...

I just received this advice from the theater we subscribe to...

M E M O R A N D U M

TO: All Woolly Mammoth Investors

FROM: Howard Shalwitz, CEO & Jeffrey Herrmann, COO

Washington, DC • October 3, 2008

As the U.S. Government plans a financial bailout of historic proportions, we write to assure you that Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company remains solvent and your investments in our institution secure.

We ended our most recent fiscal year with a modest surplus, thanks to strong 4th-quarter sales and a careful eye towards expenditures.

Meanwhile, our recent investments in R&D have served to replenish our inventory and diversify our product line. And several of these new additions – DEAD MAN'S CELL PHONE, THE K of D, and STUNNING – have recently been re-purchased by other firms and sold to audiences across America. We have steered clear of sub-prime liabilities precisely because of this commitment to investing only in quality properties and employing the most creative and skilled workers to develop them here in our state-of-the-art facility.

Further, we have maintained our investments in our local community to ensure that demand for our line of products remains strong. And, in partnership with firms like The SEED School, Metro TeenAIDS, Univ. of Maryland, and The Corcoran School, we continue to develop the workforce of the future.

Next year will mark our 30th year in business, and we are proud of our past accomplishments and our present stability during this turbulent time. Still, we remain fundamentally dependent on our investors to provide us with the funds we need to pursue our mission with confidence and vigor. This year we have set an ambitious goal of raising $350,000 in capital.

We hope you will maintain Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company in your portfolio of investments with the confidence that your dollars will generate rich dividends – payable in provocation, laughter, and surprise – for years to come. Together, we can continue to lead our industry and electrify our customer base with the most innovative line of theatrical products available for consumption in America.

Visit Woolly

Flow Chart Fun - or - Debating for Dummies

First let me say that I am a proud owner of Wine for Dummies, I've used it often and successfully and there is a lot to be said for the ...for Dummies series.

And now the fun part...

(I saw it on War Room, apparently from DK)

Oklahoma?

Cheapest beer in DC

There are probably bars where you can get a cheaper beer than the $2 Natty Boh's at the Red Derby, but I don't think I'd want to drink there. The Derby, at 3718 14th St. NW, only accepts cash and does most of it's business in cans. They've got a nice selection of beers I haven't tried because I'm broke.

It was packed last night for the debates, the crowd getting a little loud and then shushing itself so that we could all hear. I had a great time, it's relaxed and the red walls and beat up couches are just what I'm looking for in a bar. There's even a pool table in the back, but bring your ATM card, because they only take cash (there's an ATM in the bar).

Sarah Palin and Wasilla's Rape Kits

Okay, so about a week ago Maya sent me to Get Your War On to check out the episode about Sarah Palin and her policy on rape kits. GYWO was, as always, completely over the top, so I did some research. The issue (according to Jessica Yelin at CNN) appears to be that the chief of police Palin appointed in Wasilla was one of the most vocal opponents of legislation banning the charging of victims for thier own rape kits. His objections were based in fiscal concerns. There was a lot of pressure to eliminate budget items while Palin was Mayor, but that she didn't specifically target the cost of rape kits. It's still pretty messed up, but I see it more as an issue of callousness than delibrate targeting of rape victims.

I can't really do a better job of making this funny than the comic that brought this issue to my attention:

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

Orders of Magnitude

We've been hearing a lot about really big numbers lately; both in terms of the economy but also during the election generally. Mostly these numbers involve money, because lets face it we don't end up with trillions of much else besides money, and not the kind you can carry in a brief case either. Part of the problem here is that these numbers are largely theoretical, or at least that they deal with things that aren't tangible, you can't hold a billion dollars in your hand.

Thomas Schaller addressed this issue the other day and I think he did such a good job that I want to share. Most people, myself included, just know that millions, billions and, trillions are really big numbers. Some of us can tell you that one billion is one thousand million but what does that really mean? Take it away Tom...

Millions, billions and trillions all sound the same. But a million seconds takes about 11 days to expire; because a billion is a thousand million, a billion seconds takes about 30 years to expire; because a trillion is a thousand billion, a trillion seconds takes about 30,000 years to expire. These are not interchangeable orders of magnitude, folks.

Our federal debt is headed toward $10 trillion, which means if we stopped adding to it immediately, and all credit holders (yeah you, China) stopped charging us interest, and we started paying down the debt at $1 per second, it would take about 300,000 years to retire.

Read it again and, wow.

Over The Line...

So I'm here in sunny Saipan escaping the last month of the campaign craziness and trying to save the world.

Since it's already a different day here than back in the mainland USA we'll be catching all the fun that is the ka-blooie in St. Louis at 11 am. That's a much more civilized time to watch grown men and women squabble like middle schoolers if you ask me.

Okay I didn't get this up before the debate. I always think that I want to watch these things, or at least that I should watch them. But when I do I just end up upset with the whole thing. It's really a shame that we don't manage to have substantive debates. Having the candidates discuss detailed plans for education, health care, foreign policy, or especially the economy would actually be informative. Instead we get a bunch of catch phrases and buzz words and non r evasive answers. It's terrible, the process these days makes a mockery of the democratic process and belittles the American people. It's a shame.